Matilda: No one's gonna care if you don't care, If you sit around and let them get on top, you . Agatha Trunchbull: MISS TRUNCHBULL Lord knows we've tried. Before my happy days were Over, Trunchbull: Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. I think in effect, Your mommy is a TWIT! A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. have you read a whole book? With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . You'll be surprised at how well it works. I'm telling you, I didn't do it! I'm incredible! Good heavens. MATILDA Four times two is eight. Well, this isn't my room at all! [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Miss Honey: MISS TRUNCHBULL Harry Wormwood: But it's a truth empirical My mummy says I'm a miracle, And good luck with the Tolstoy. Matilda: Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. MISS HONEY I don't know anybody who did. . See who wins. (Bruce!) Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? It's just pathetic! [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . Matilda's been here all morning. stream Agatha Trunchbull: The Invisible Man . 8. No "buts". How far can you go? Come on!] Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. Quick, jackets! Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. What are you looking at? Watch as her eyes light up and her smile turn into an impressed grin. MRS WORMWOOD 1. Agatha Trunchbull: Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! She puts it down on the desk behind BRUCE. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. CHILDREN green! Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. A person. . Is like the TARDIS: Bruce Bogtrotter: My father's portrait used to hang there. Your old man is going to work. Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! ? Ah-ah-aah-ah. MISS TRUNCHBULL . Where'd all this come from? He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." My daddy says I'm a bore. MRS WORMWOOD And always keep your feet inside the line! Hand's shaking. Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. Amanda Thripp: [looking at a portrait of her father] People don't like smarty-pants what go 'round I think they just fit. . Or even two, Bruce, Well, this crime took place before school started. That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? 4. Nobody but me is gonna change my story. Past Matilda. Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. I have my ion you. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] CHILDREN <>>> Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. We're rehearsing. We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, Agatha Trunchbull: have you read a whole book? Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. [into recorder] RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? That's the main thing. The Wormwoods laugh. BOTH: What a dear! [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. AMANDA . I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. Just go back to school! MISS HONEY MRS PHELPS But time is the one thing no one is master of. Wonderful. I can! Yes, sir. Agatha Trunchbull: Nonsense. Try to be funny, or clever, or both! Well I had to take a shower, Harry! MATILDA MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. MATILDA collects two dolls from the house. . MISS TRUNCHBULL MISS TRUNCHBULL Harry Wormwood: "It is our destiny ". Go on, Brucey! MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. . MRS WORMWOOD Come in, come in, whoever you are. Well, then stop her reading! Now go watch TV like a good kid. Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. You gotta be loud! My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, [His stomach growls.] You just need to keep your feet inside the line. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . Get out of it! It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Then get out of town. MISS HONEY 3. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. MATILDA The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. 13. The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. Good-bye, Miss Honey. MATILDA I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. She seems not to know that she's special at all. Specialness is de rigueur. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. Thank you for suggesting it. MISS HONEY Matilda Wormwood! I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. I think she might be an idiot. Shut up! What?! Of course I am. BIG KIDS Is it time for school yet, mum? 2. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. Special guest towards the end. Past Alice. "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? We have everything . No, no, no, no [ad lib. Ah-ah-aah-ah So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. Not yet, anyway. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. But I'm a barrelina This miracle . And . Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Do you think I altered my intended elevation? With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. MAN: So hilarious. | Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. MR WORMWOOD I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . What you know matters less Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. What a dear! Harry Wormwood: No, but don't people need good cars? Smile for mother! Where he's been for the last hour, actually. Let alone getting the conversation going! Meet Matilda. A bell rings. What am I? If you always take it on the chin and wear it, She sat down, and when she got up . FBI Agent Bob: You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! BIG KID [BEN] MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. MATILDA Stand out from the crowd! . MRS WORMWOOD exits. Two BIG KIDS start climbing on the gate, flanking alphabet blocks as they are are pushed through the gate when they are mentioned in the song. My mommy thinks they're sweet. Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. Has my daddy told ya Where did you get those? But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. To fetch a pail of water. [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. Crazy Credits [off to the side] "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! Matilda: Trunchbull: Sell me a lemon? You can be all cynical, AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. Yes, please. Pathetic, little me. Agatha Trunchbull: Lavender? The stage goes black. . Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes. No, Miss Trunchbull. Zinnia Wormwood: But I'm his little soldier. Is it some modern miracle of calculus MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. They're all mistakes, children! ". One look at my face and it's plain to see. [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Yes. So give me more cake! . And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. . Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: [hands Michael the cookies] The Lord of the Rings . They're cops, Dad. Are you smoking a cigarette? Miss Honey: The chances of existence almost infinitely small. MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY Ten! To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. . MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Then your mummy is a twit! But this time, I've got a secret weapon. Hey, Dip face. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. But she is a squib. The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. So you're Wormwood, are you? What's this? Zinnia Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] MISS HONEY This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. [chanting with the rest of the class] You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! MATILDA AAAAAHHHHH! ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Gloria Magitum! Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. She opens a book. . MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. I believe that . MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. MATILDA [He sits down in a zen position.]. The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] Stop being pathetic, Jenny. The hat rack is taken away. You're the spitting image. [:g-] Agatha Trunchbull: The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? . This is the cottage from your story. That's all right, Jenny. My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. She hates it when I go out. I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. . . MATILDA Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. <> Bruce! My, my, that is good. You don't let me talk to people! Matilda: I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Look at these trophies. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. BIG KIDS We have everything . "Right"? What? Harry Wormwood: Narrator: No kid likes being yelled at. The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. Don't listen to them. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) Stories. She's reading a book. You're a little cheat, you saw the paper. MRS PHELPS enters. . Excellent man. You're better off raising tomatoes. No way! I chose looks! [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Antibiotics, or . [He throws the phone to the lackey.] [throws carrot from the spoon. MRS WORMWOOD . Oh, cook . Matilda? [into recorder] It's the female minor. Ow! ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE I didn't go to college. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! You could have heard a fly burp. Harry Wormwood: Children are maggots! What's wrong with me? Mrs. Wormwood: A shrimp. Matilda: [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. BIG KID [BEN] MR WORMWOOD abilities. . My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. The scene changes to the library. Mum says I'm a good case for population control. What do you think might be the cause of this? I'll tell you tomorrow. MATILDA [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? Harry Wormwood: . What can I do? MATILDA THE MUSICAL. CHILDREN You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? One look at my face and it's plain to see. Somewhere along the way, my dear, Mr Wormwood! . Even if you're little, you can do a lot. You show the little brat! You wouldn't beat them in a race! MISS HONEY She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? If you don't, I will get you. The secret to my success is this. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. Are they good runners? There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. Am I . You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. I told you that was a cheap set. I think he blinked. front bottom. . Three times two is six. BIG KIDS A little less flat, a lot more heel. Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] Above average is average. Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! See, I know your headmistress. MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. BIG KID [BEN] Harry Wormwood: Million $ Sticky Host: And I shall crush you. Miss Honey: Agatha Trunchbull: Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA . We can spell "difficulty". Write this down. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. Eleven times two is twenty-two. I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . The end is happier. You're heading for the chokey, young lady! Don't hide it under a bushel. You're just wasting enerGy, You should stay out of trouble If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. Okay! [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] queens! MATILDA And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. . Was it magic? Amanda Thripp: Matilda: Jenny: Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. Mrs. Wormwood: . Oops! MR WORMWOOD Right. I don't want any, thank you. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Before my happy days were over, . NIGEL Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Won't change a thing. MR WORMWOOD It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. MR WORMWOOD 20. It's the Trunchbull's speciality. Oh, let's put it this way. The subsequent fall was inevitable. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. Cake. . Well, Matilda Wormwood. . Right. MRS WORMWOOD Do you have a job? And I will Teach you a thing or two. . Mr. Wormwood: I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. Stop! Even me. I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. In . AAAHH! Just get on your feet, Jenny. Agatha Trunchbull: Look at him go! If you want to throw the hammer for your country. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. LOUD! . Whee! Matilda: He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. Yes. Of course! . Just you wait for phys-ed! Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; To read? Agatha Trunchbull: The announcer from MISS TRUNCHBULL's videos starts commentating. Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: Green hair? A poem? Harry Wormwood: No. I . A little less brains, a lot more hair. But if I try I can remeMber, School? Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! Just because you find that life's not fair, it RUDOLPHO See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. Miss Honey doesn't want you. You have to put it right . The fibers fused to my hair! It's your fault. Yes. <> FBI Agent Bob: You gotta give yourself permission to shine. Miss Honey: The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN Now, the secret to my success in business is . Piacelli. COUPLE 1 She starts the video screens playing again. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. I have suffered in this jail. Do we want to do something that rhymes with "truck"? Another flaming book? [COUPLES This is the worst day of my life! Ladies and gentlemen! DOCTOR I hope you've enjoyed these lines and had a laugh! Is a miracle! "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. MRS PHELPS MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. What about me, then? Come on, Bruce, be our hero. That's not right. He's going to blow. Yes, yes. LAVENDER Everybody loves a little something exotic. Now, eat it. 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. No one's going to listen if you don't shout. [yells] She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. Matilda? We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. . Might have been nice, [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. Yeah! Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i . MRS PHELPS <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Whether you like it or not. How much, exactly are we talking about? Where is the maggot known as Nigel? RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. RUDOLPHO And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? And people would come from miles around: kings! He's fantastic! The group sets off party poppers down the line. "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. A flaming escapologist? Yes. You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! MATILDA . MISS TRUNCHBULL DOCTOR And sailed high up, up above the stands I love my school it isn't fair! . Check it if you don't believe me.
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