My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. this is fantastic!! In the UK, between 3% and 5% of the population suffers from a drinking problem at any one time. If you are married to an alcoholic, here are seven ways to deal with the problem. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. I went into labor while he was sitting in the bay, alone in a boat. Whos really stupid? I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. The. One of the most commonly talked about signs of impending labor, many women begin cleaning and re-arranging baby items in the days or hours before labor begins. The worst part was later when he said, You know, you seemed kind of mad that I got sick. Yeah, sorry I couldnt be sympathetic. By the way, he would never drive while drinking, he thought it would be completely fine to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital if he's drunk. So, accept the fact and learn to deal with it. He will NEVER live that down. Every nurse who came to check on me kept asking me if my husband was coming to be with me. We got to the hospital at 7:30 and I was already pushy. While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. He doesn't drink that much EVERY night, but it happens, and I just KNOW with my luck, he will drink that much on the night I go into labor. When I woke up after the operation, the nurses unceremoniously kicked me out, but because I didnt have a cellphone, I couldnt call him and I didnt have my own transport. I had to be induced. He is lucky I didnt kill him. OR MAYBE you've been putting it off for awhile and you're doing it because you know you need to stop procrastinating! Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? Are you kidding me? Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. She never left my side, fed me frozen Gatorade chips for hours, and knew exactly what to do(and by the way, shes never been pregnant and never wanted to be.). I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. It was winter so between contractions I had to warm up the car and take my bags out. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. Time. I wish you luckI would talk to him now about this habit! ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** The biggest sign that the bloody show has occurred is you may notice a bloody mucus discharge from your vagina. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. 10000% this. I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. She all but collapses into my arms exhausted to the point she couldn't even walk to the bedroom. Hoping to cure the problem. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. If the birth of his child is not enough to deter him from drinking for a few weeks, then he has a serious problem. Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. You would really benefit from an Al-Anon meeting or two. Which is normally fine, but NOT when your in labor! I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. at around 11 pm when i started to vomit and asked if we should probably get to the hospital he said are you sure this time? From what you've posted, your H has a serious problem. Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. Indeed! After your first childbirth, labor usually takes less time. What is the typical personality of an alcoholic? You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! Apparently i was keeeping him awake. When the July 14, 2012 due date of Gainesville, Florida resident Melissa Hoh came and went, her husband's friends told him about a news story they'd read in 2006 about three women going into labor . Second, I would have an honest conversation about the role you want him to play in labor and delivery. This happened to my friend. I. That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. So the end result was his own personal police escort to the hospital. However, Phil and I are pretty much the masters of the silent fight. He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. My husband to me, You are loosing it. This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. You can't drive yourself, and if he's been drinking that much then you are taking cab. The local McDonald's owner, Steve Akinboro, rewarded . I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. Having. Okay tell me when we need to go so I can shower first, he said. said he was not paying for any unnecessary pain medication since he witnessed many cows giving birth and they just plop them out. It's just that the cumulative effect of 4-5 drinks from 5pm until 10 or 11 makes me worry. I hope you haven't given up on this post. Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. All parents have had to worry about this, I am sure you will be able to find someone who is willing to help you out. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . Jackass. It might have been when he was relaying the story about how tired he was and how the day seemed to drag on forever. I think he needs a friend intervention - sounds like he would not listen to you. This was 1959, and husbands werent allowed in labor and delivery anyway. In order to do you, you might push your husband to loneliness, which eventually will lead to far more serious issues than now. "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! He works, he goes out with friends, and when OP asks him to be around or spend more time with her, he tells her to get her own friends. My FI usually has a few drinks every night too but I am not really worried about him not being able to drive to the hospital because theres tons of people around us who would be more than willing to drive me there. I had literally lost my mind and was threatening to unhook myself from everything and leave the hospital. We didnt go to bed until midnight. Those who knew Angela Dickinson said she could charm any man. Husband, I swear by my ugly faded hospital gown, I will end you. This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. I am starving and not allowed to eat so I order him out of the room. I waited in the car while my husband went in 5 minutes go by 10 minutes 15!!!!!! I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. You have a choice as an adult to enable and accept his behavior, your innocent baby does not. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. husband drunk when i went into labor. What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? When you sent the call out, you said husbands, and I totally forgot what my dad did the night I was born. Using alcohol is not an appropriate way to cope with stress. my best and held out until about 6am. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. Clearly this was ridiculous. 20 Tips to Deal With Unresolved Issues in a Relationship, 10 Signs Being in a Relationship With an Alcoholic Partner, A therapist or counselor will be able to help him, 10 Ways to Support Your Spouse in Addiction Recovery, 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship, Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and. After I threatened to divorce him 75 times, he finally asked for directions and got his pregnant wife to the hospital still pregnant. You are pregnant, not we are pregnant. When Orbalina Miranda went into labor with her third child at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, she left her two children asleep in their beds, in a relative's care, and headed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital . Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. Drink Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80s. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. Also, he decided at some point that the contraction monitor was a better gauge of my pain than I was: Oh, that one wasnt so bad. I nearly ripped his head off. I guess you were right. You think? He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. He then drank some juice and couldnt hold my leg while I pushed because he was still a little shaky. According to the World Health Organisation, around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. My nurse thought he had the flu. Iowa City Press-Citizen via USA TODAY Network. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. Nothing until we got home. However, this might give you peace of mind for a moment. I did tell him that HE would be the one calling them letting them know the situation. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? Thats when the smell of a thousand beers hit me. Wear sneakers. What Red Raspberry Leaf Tea can do: Strengthen and tone the uterus. I think I'm always stopping to prepare for the recipients reaction. When he came home and realized I was gone, he assumed I was just shopping or visiting family. I was scared. The following morning,he woke up very early and went to work! All they could do was pace the floor in the waiting room. She thought it might go away. I dont know why I remember things like that. LOL, I love that Firefly episode! I hadnt seen my childs dad (dont even want to tell you what I think of him!) (But I still decided to stay 2 more hours at home because the nurse said to wait it out when I called them. I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. Or speaking to each other in limited statements, such as Jack just shat his pants or the toilet is blocked. About a week later, when it all sunk in and I realised that I was that mother whose husband was basically flammable in the delivery suite, I realised I had been sitting on a teensy bit of suppressed anger. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. I will never know. Third, I would look into more long term plans on how to unwind after a long day at work. Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. Once emergency responders had arrived and . With our fourth, he was perfect and even had to help deliver the baby!! When I told my husband at 2am that it was time to go to the hospital, he said, Oh, not tonight, I have a headache.. The 25-year-old Los Angeles Rams wide receiver and his wife, Samaria Jefferson, welcomed their second baby together on Sunday evening, when Samaria went into labor during the Super Bowl, which Van . -Lois, I was fully dilated after 18 hours and my husband said you think you can hold out pushing until I grab some breakfast?-Sarah, My husband grew this ridiculous goatee and wore a shirt that said TOERAG on it, so he looks ridiculous in all the photos. Driving drunk is a big effing deal. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. This makes me smile and has healed that little part of me that resented having to be alone and strong at that one beautiful moment. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. -Katie. Baby. He needed to get directions to the hospital. I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. We went anyway, and I was 5 cm dilated with double back labor. I hardly knew my now husband of 11 years at the time (though I already knew he was the one!) Men dont get it because the dont know what we go through with our bodies. Lets just say that he ended up spending the night in the hospital with me. Every birthday growing up I heard about the stupid thing my Dad did when I was born. The next morning, I rationally explained to him that if I would have gone into labor (I was 38 weeks at that point) I would not have allowed him into the l and d room. It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). He hasn't had one drink since that night because he knows I'm serious. There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. God bless my daughter for sleeping/ nursing her way into this world. There is no pattern. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. Then she told me to leave. My water broke in the middle of the night, we made our way to the hospital and once we arrived i was put in a wheel chair, wheeled into the elevator and left unable to walk because of pain while my husband went to find a free parking spot. And when they do, take them to the professional instead of trying to make things right on your own. When I insisted that it in fact had broken, he asked me if i was sure, and how did i know. Then I asked him to wake our 3-year-old and get him ready for daycare. If I were you, I would have a back up plan. You two need to have some serious conversations about his alcohol intake, labor or not. Nesting. My husband ripped a huge, disgusting fart while I was in labor and then got offended when I gave him the dirtiest look I possibly could. Money was scarce. Fine. Since I had to have a c-section he stayed in the hospital with me the 3 days sleeping on the couch and changed ALL the diapers. When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. Your rights as a patient supecedes his right to violate your peace and privacy. Phil, was at this point, fading fast. Even if they "handle their liquor well" they are drunk at that point. However, he also started to diet right around the same time, so I think that helped. I'm guesing it's pretty important. After 30 hours of labor, it was time to go to the hospital and my husband informs me that he needs to run across the street to get his hair cut and I have the number if I need him. . When your partner needs help, they will reach out to you. He says to her Oh, the hospital said theyd call me as soon as anything happened As he was saying the words he knew hed made a mistake. This has nothing to do with "men being stupid". So, I felt it and tried to ignore it. He went back to sleep. A. If I was to go into labor when he was drinking he wouldn't be there and that's that. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. My husband told me to breathe. It's not much to ask for him to give up drinking for a couple of weeks or to just tone it down to a couple just in case so that he can still drive ina pinch. -Questionable Choices in Parenting, Mine was an emergency C-section. To help you more to understand, Is my husband an alcoholic?, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. Hubby went home to get a good nights rest the night I got induced. My nurse who had me pushing literally would not let me catch my BREATH because she told me to push every 10 seconds..for 2 WHOLE HOURS. Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? Hubby was very excited and solicitous and kept asking how I was and what did I need. My darling husband looks at me tenderly and askes So, when do you want to have the next one? 48 hours of 7 to 10 minute contractions and sent home from the hospital twiceyeah, I almost punched him in the face. He said okay, proceded to go hook up the horse trailer, load his horses and tell me that he was going to a branding. First baby: Yes. Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. -Jennifer, We were out to a movie when my contractions started. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. She gives me her phone number . I was also in the middle of a contraction when he said that. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. -Carrie, After I finally agreed to an epidural, the nurse explained that it would feel like a quick little bee sting. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. You don't want him to not be able to function when the baby needs to be cared for during the night. My dad went out for tacos! Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. For you I would give your DH a heads up if you start feeling any contractions and have him head home if they start getting regular . Mine wasnt nearly as bad as these more just funny. When they told me at 3am to come in, he just asked, do you NEED me to drive you? Professional help might be available via your health insurance if he needs medical assistance due to withdrawal symptoms (which, if he drinks every day, he might) or a specific substance abuse program may even be available under the mental health coverage in your plan. Lucky for him, he was standing just out of my reach. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. Women need to put their foot down. I don't believe Alcoholics Anonymous is very effective, personally, but it's free and the meetings are plentiful, so it might be a good place to start. A therapist or counselor will be able to help him overcome his addiction and lead a more fulfilling life. 1. While crawling along, my contractions got closer together and longer. . Police raided a pregnant woman's home wrongly suspecting her husband stole a snowblower; she ended up in jail, in labor, and experts say, illegally in shackles. I folded those clothes some more. But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. I was prepped for emergency c-section and we had friends in boats out looking for him in the bay. You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been . Don't take anything personally. I had some see threw jammies to wear home >.<. It was about 11:30 am when we finally made it to the hospital (which was on the other side of town) and after being examined by the nurse, was told I was going to have my child later that evening (at about 6 pm)! NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! I would go along with the game, keep a straight, often giddy face and say nothing. Nice. In some cases, there are no signs. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . In the car, everything was very annoying to me: the radio, the sound of my husband at the time talking on the phone, just everything. He begrudgingly told me hed hurry. And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. I mean he would have just stayed home and played video games, if I had given him the impression that Ill be okay on my own. Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Our son was born in the morning. -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. When I mentioned this is really beginning to hurt, his comment? You can also ask them any questions you may have and share your experiences with them. If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. He's turning 30 - his birthday isn't some magical day where responsibilities don't apply to him I'm currently TTC and my husband already knows that he isn't getting drunk during my entire final month (36 weeks on) unless there is a plan for someone else to drive me. Grab Now! He at Popeyes and now she is here yelling bout the fact he ate. I told my husband in the morning that I had been in labor most of the night (he slept through it). I turned to my husband and asked him to grab me a snack out of our bags. My husband went home the next day and brought me some things, namely a mens xl t-shirt that said Wanna Play Doctor? on it. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down.
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