We are both 61 yrs old and I have a gut feeling hes actually seeing someone. What can I do?? Best to you. No set date, no plans, no nothing. We started talking about it again and I told him I would move back to my home country and try another times for scholarship. Both of us are middle-aged, and recently divorced. Bp. At what point should I stop looking at other guys? Scammers, opportunists, hookups. He knows how hurtful this is because it happened to him with a girl he had talked to on ok cupid before me. Thank you so much! If youre looking just for sex, go for it with this guy. . I napped after work too and was wide awake. Perhaps this will turn into something more. Also, he initiated a road trip for our third date (we are about an hour away from New Orleans, LA). Hes only interested st his convenience. Why would you put up with his being hot and cold after all this time? Thank you for leaving a comment. Leigh, I dont have much info to go on so Im merely speculating that he found someone close by to where he lives. Im not going to reach out anymore I think hes no longer interested and doesnt know how to tell me. If not, heres a tip: when a man asks you out expect him to give you some specifics. Ok, Its a bit too intense for me, but wtf? I had to move the next week so I cut ties, and he never chased. Ive suggested that Id love to get to know him beyond the texting. They were things like, I would like to work with you on your photography because you take such great pictures; just saying things like that in which I wasnt sure how to react. The last time we worked with each other a guy came up to me telling me how much the guy likes me, I was feeling quite good. He let me know then and there he didnt would not get into a conversation via text messaging. Since our first meet, he has been keen to see me every day since then. Just ask her, MP. He drove to my area (20minute drive) for drinks and it was lovely. Can we make that work? Put it out there, sister, and give him the chance to say Y or N. Youll learn a lot by his response. And offered on a few occasions to come see him for coffee or dinner. Should i just drop it because we live too far away and probably well never be? Then due to his late replies, i got irritated and we had a very small misunderstanding but since then, its been 1.2 months, no text from him back. Bp. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. So either hes not a grownup or not interested in a way you might want him to be. When I did, he told me he was sick. Thank you! But I learned, so we texted every other day untill our date the next Sunday, which he cancelled, three hours before, he had a sore troath after going out the night before. Bp. I was scared but willing that night we had a fight through texting and after hours of back & forth he told me we meet he would need a weeks notice? While the possibility that slowdowns in texting behavior can be a sign of a relationship in decline, the real takeaway here is that there are more reasons that it isnt a negative sign than there are reasons to be concerned. No explanation as to what he meant by a weekend away. A work colleague and I have been on 3 dates in a few months. If he keeps texting, then your suspicions are most likely correct. 2. He replied after a few days. Go find a man who wants a real relationship, ok? Run for the hills! I dont want a relationship or anything like that. Bp. If we wanted to genuinely meet me, then he should invest the time, or else, Ill pass (I said all those things nicely and with diplomacy)! We spoke one evening. Finally, I had to initiate the meeting and decide what day and time because he said he didnt like planning dates/hang outs. Good luck to you. I dont suffer fools and I prefer conversation to text messages. They can be pretty uncomfortable. Well, I started creating that as my reality. Yes, its a difficult but meaningful lesson. Finally we get to meet up for dinner and started hanging out for other activities like 3 times a week at least. nothing. In the meantime move on with your life and dont fall into the trap of thinking texting is dating. Hourly texting to ghosting you 48 hours is very different.. Never heard of pinging. You know, like a grownup. Help!! I told her i would love to continue hanging out with you and lease till after my divorce is finalized I dont plan on doing anything physical with her as long as she does not want to. We are supposed to meet, so will see if they follow through. And I love your idea about using it for flirting, encouraging, etc. That said, if you dont hear from a guy, just move on. So I have told him, I would be in his area in 3 weeks. Weve started talking through email, then message texts ( several a day), and phone calls as well. And now I am very happy with him. I am confused. And the opposite happens too. Please advise Im so upset we had so much in common. I changed the subject right away by asking him how his birthday was going. A very slow tennis match. I keep telling them I use email (from my iPad, laptop and desktop) and there are phones throughout my home for the land line. He says his sister lives here. After the 2 days, I was going over to LA where he lives for a work flight. Unfortunately most men on line are either players or want hookups. He also said to her that he was divorced and didnt mention a girlfriend. He thanked me once by text. Its so different these days. It sounds like you have some kind of rigid rules that men must adhere to, including that they better be amusing or deep if they are going to text you. I have had messages, meet and greets once, no spark or connection, or person really had no intention of a relarionship. That implies consistency, which translates to you knowing you can count on him. Including my own. I am afraid that this means nothing to him, while here I am hoping time will come he changes his mind. Then, as he was leaving for Florida and Mexico to sell off his and his late wifes condo there and go on a trip with his male buds,( both scheduled long before he met me), he took time to drive up to my town (we are 2 1/2 hrs apart) and be with me. Press J to jump to the feed. They talked on and off all day. I wouldnt be surprised if he was married or otherwise connected. He always initiates conversation whether he text last or not and calls me( I never initiate convo because Im to confused). Im no fling. I know its getting really boring but please Just Stay Safe! Since that interaction he sends a text every two days or so, usually responding to the one I responded to two days earlier. Keep your Grownup in charge. I am newly divorced after 27 years of marriage. Bp. It feels real. We got to know each other through app. I hope he got in touch and you were able to see him and enjoy yourself. Thoughts? You've even used some tips from MEL #12 - How to ignite your messaging game. They were married, divorced. If not - time to relax a little and let things unfold naturally. We messaged (a lot) all through my vacation. First, giving your number really isnt letting your guard down. Every time I showed up as my honest, authentic self, I was falling more in love with the real me. I hope youll response, itd mean a lot to me:), Hi Lia, It all depends on whether you two have agreed to be exclusive. I met a guy about a month ago and we havent gone on a date yet (even though our schedules have a Ent match up) but we have had a couple of opportunities to go. Unfortunately, its just not happening. Met a guy online about 2months ago and he asked if he could call. Because shes a plus size girl and I love my plus size women. Important detail we are in different states at the moment. The truth is Im a shy and reserve woman. I gave him the benefit of the doubt due to the fact he had two jobs and kids were out of town during the holiday season so trying to schedule a date was difficult. I have not answered any of his texts for just one day so far. Not exactly tranquil in mine either, but thats another story and not nearly what hes going through. Tell him youre still really interested in getting to know one another and sharing time together. Ask him if hes willing to talk about how you two can come to some agreement on what works so you can continue. We went out on the scheduled day around noon and mutually had one of the best dates Ive ever had and had been single for about a year and half prior to this date. Heres my story. Bp. Here are a couple articles for you: How Long Should I Wait Before I Have Sex? And, most importantly, how you can take control of the situation like a grownup! I have said about him sending me some recent pictures, he says yes and then doesnt. I said yes to the 2nd date but my gut is telling me something is quite not right because it is only texting since. Coversations are pretty short. Do you think he may just want to be friends or is looking for an ego boost? We've focused on the importance of asset management, future growth, and renewing ageing infrastructure that delivers an urban water supply to tens of thousands of residents every day. Texting stopped for a week and she reached out for some guidance on an assignment, then the texting went back into a friendly/flirty dynamic. I didnt even notice until you mentioned it. If you push him you can be pretty sure he wont be back in touch. I dont want to be cruel, but from the info I have here, including you saying it, hes not into you. He replied quickly to my coffee date and set up a time a place. He responded immediately and we sent 2-3 texts each. Ughshow him this article. I met this guy two weeks ago on Tinder. We were fighting all the time and I wanted to get help and counseling and he refused. I met a lovely guy before lockdown. Youve apologized and done what you could. Sending pics of his junk? 2 months later, he sends a text saying I ran in front of his house. I am not enjoying the fact that we dont meet. Text him back for Gods sake. Hi Mechelle. So he told me to be patient with him when he dont reply quickly. I dont want to feel like Im compromising myself to go meet a guy, even though I would love to meet up with him since we hit off so well the first time we met. I ignored the question and he sent another one later on, which was better and I responded. Heres what I suggest: watch my most recent Grownup Girls Night Out webcast. Instant connection and fun messages. I ignored that, which he then commented on a few days later. One day I discovered that when we were dating he was going out with another girl but she posted in Instagram that they are just friends. He said: what a beautiful picture! Whatever hes feeling; you may never know. What are your thoughts on this situation? So now what does THIS mean?! Ive been talking to this guy on and off for the past 3 months. And more important and relevant to your "probable" circumstance TWO: You can not build a firm and solid connection with a man by merely sending text messages back and forth. I have thought that maybe he is like this because he is an introvert and likes to be alone, or maybe its our culture difference, he is indian and Im not. Do you want him to text you more often or at particular times? I just received a text message from him saying Hey, how have you been?. Weve exchanged a few texts since but I havent heard from him in two days. He still wants to keep the communication going but I dont think its a good idea seeing that I like him smh. I gave him my phone number told him to text me and he just never did. Ask yourself, did they recently mention a big project coming up at work? We finally met and went on a date the same day. I like him but I havent developed any feelings for him as I havent met him yet. Anita Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple's Guide to Lasting Love, Brenda Della Casa, relationship coach and author of Cinderella Was a Liar, Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker. Because both of us work, the times we get together are sometimes weeks apart But keeping in touch daily seems to be moving the relationship forward. In my teens and twenties, I loved, and I loved hard. He wanted to get together but I was out of town, so we continued to text. A week has gone by as well as it has been 2 weeks since we last saw each other. I grew to despise this man. I dont like texting very much but ive enjoyed getting to know him (not too much personal details so far, only generic info) but i think because of the circunstances its the only way we have to communicate. Should i confront him about it and just move on? Dont know what Id label him, Kellie, but if he cant be okay with the way you live, then hes just not for you. Im trying too, as Im in a similar sutuation. Youll have your answer if hes into you or not Let us know! Just like the article says, Stephanie, texting is NOT dating. And why is he deciding it can work when he hardly even knows you? Hes a busy single dad and I am busy single woman. Hes been very sweet and romantic and shared some painful stuff with me. Bp, the guy I know works on a oil rig engineer off the Atlantic. "Most of these guys didn't even contact me after the date or even walk me to my car in the middle of the night. Hi over 50 female met someone over 40 online. The connection was great, easy and we shared wonderful moments. Should I stop this overall? Do I wait it out or try to stop this now? Executive assistant Irina, 27, has been ghosted 16 times. If he shows up again in a REAL way meaning he wants to spend time with you maybe you might give him more attention. Bp. One day he started messaging me less and would send short replies (even though he texts me first). Well yes, if you are seeing each other regularly then I think it does have meaning. That was enough for me to say to myself who cares just move on, in which i eventually did. Hes just one guy. This shows that you value your connection and want to take it to the next level without coming across as too eager. I recently started dating a man who uses texts to check in and make plans to actually get together. I then said I had to get off as I was expecting another call. Our relationship was texting mainly and a few calls we only met once but I was falling for him and miss our banter terribly. Best. He responded with a smiley face. I dont mind the txting at all as long as I know he is very interested. Take your time and get to know each other. Similarly, the thing to notice here is a behavioral change. We text everyday and video chat at night but when I hinted at him liking me he denied me. He isnt. Therefore, he texts you everyday. However, we both lead very busy lives. As understand this, you havent met and have just been messaging. If I want to talk on the phone I have to go out on the porch after my kids are in bed. I feel like if I text him and ask him if he would like to meet up or go to a movie or something that it would scare him away. If it seems that all they want is sex then I encourage you to consider what may be attracting those jerksbecause its not true that all men even most only want sex. He works 3 jobs, so I know hes busy. Hi there..pls demystify this situation for me. Glad he moved it to Tuesday, but he would have waited until after NYErs. I met a guy through Match. He said so I should expect to see you in the morning. I said if you are awake that early. He replied yes but I feel like were not getting to know each other, were still getting a feel for one another and it creating anxiety, what should I do? 1. The date was nice, but it was just the first date I have no idea how I feel about him yet. He is almost 50 and Im 55. How do I go about this and my own feelings about the scenario? How do you do that? If he doesnt step up, move on sister. Dating at 45 is not for the faint of heart! At this time in life there ought not be games, inconsistency and questions. If you have strict rules like the ones you have around texting, youd be doing a kindness by letting men know your expectations and preferences. I met a guy on Twitter. Please be discerning and do not give attention to anyone who doesnt try to make a date to meet. In person. Hes blatantly not doing it. But Im glad to answer you here. It feels so confusing about the right and wrong way. Have a wonderful night he reached out to say he had fun . 3 month after I didnt heard from him and one day he texted me and told m he was back for good in my city and wanted to see me. But I think that it is a setup that he has gotten someone to pose as a daughter to talk to me. Meanwhile, keep living your life. If he wants to he will get back in touch and make a plan. Bp. Gave him my number and text me enjoyed dancing last night. Have some fun with it and see if he will go there with you. He doesnt tell me anything about himself over text messages, but he would tell me things in person. You deserve better. Bp. We had so much in common, so much to talk about, and an incredible connection. I liked him instantly and we had great chemistry. Expecting him to move on to something more serious isnt realistic. I guess Id give you the same advice. We are both 33 years old and single parents. I just see guys the text alot as weak. Clear and transparent communication is required for any healthy relationship to grow so simply ask how they are feeling and say that youve noticed a few changes in patterns and whether that means they are more comfortable or having some questions about the relationship. As I didnt get anything back from my last text I decided to stop. As a note there are a lot of women who prefer the phone call and the quickie meeting. I am waiting for him to tell me if he wanna go with me but he didnt. I dont just want to be his go to thing when he comes home to give him something to do to boost his ego. If YOU initiated the once a week call, he is not into it. Although, right now, its a long-distance relationship. We dont live really close but bave both said we would drive to see the other. Not really looking for a relationship. For the last 2 months we have text everyday and throughout the day with 80% of the time he text first. Perspective. I text him in October about meeting in San Antonio, it didnt work out then. Most women want to drive themselves and meet the man at the location for the first time at least until she feels safe and comfortable with letting him pick her up. and been texting everyday since then, arranged a date for this Friday and Ive not heard from him in days, texted him today asking what time suits him to meet up 2moro, being cheery even though I know something is up! Then I respond a short message about how its good to hear from him and that I thought something bad happened to him and that I hope his surgery goes well and that he stays safe in quarantine. Soooo texting seems to be working for us. Hes a jerk. Wow, I think youre being way quick to judge this poor guy. Just some messaging doesnt constitute knowing a guy enough to decide that you like him a lot. I have an odd situation. After over one month we didnt talk/text, I uploaded my new pic on facebook and he straightly liked it. If hes serious about wanting to see you he will do that to make sure hes reserving your time. ( we did speak anout 3rd date doover lol), Why not? I leave a few hours before replying to him, but then he texts back instantly. is it a vape pen or thc i've been wondering bc the juice is dark brown.100 unit . My situation: so I been dating this guy for roughly 3 months now, we TEXT everyday morning and night, we been on couple of dates. He hasnt logged back on to the dating site since we started talking. "Ghosting" may have been added to Urban Dictionary in 2006, but in theory, people ghosted long before texting: by not calling back, not showing up to a date, not responding to a carrier pigeon. Ive been seeing a guy for about a month now. Its been going on about 2 months now. Are you selecting the men you meet with consciousness and self love? Not 2 days later he asked if I wanted to come hang out with him and his family for dinner. That person is looking for that in you, too.
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